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1999 Bug Splat Rally

Date: Saturday, August 21, 1999
Time: 7:00 PM
Place: Zaxby’s in Evans
Members Present: Brian Bogardus, Donna Bogardus, Jim Creer, Judy Creer, Jill Dobson, Carol Haff, John Haff, Jennifer Kelly, Sean Kelly, Andrea Thornton, Stacey Timmerman, Rudy Wilmoth, Anita Wylds, Henry Wylds & Brian Wynne.
Guests: Peter Brown & Randy Pitts.

There were only a couple people who stopped at the Zaxby’s near Bobby Jones before realizing their error and driving out a little further on Washington Road. I think the adult supervision must have taken the night off at this Zaxby’s, because the inmates were running the asylum. There was no catsup, napkins were scarce, service was slow and the general cleanliness was severely lacking. At least the food was good.

After dinner Brian B. got out his bottle of Quick Detailer and a towel to clean off any pre-existing bugs from the noses of the 10 cars that were going to participate in the Splat portion of the festivities. Then each driver was given a little green dot to put somewhere on the front of his or her car. This was the target to which they were to somehow get a bug to hit while they were driving.

The original intent was to release the Miatas at intervals to maximize bug-gathering capabilities. But after the first 2 or 3 cars left solo the rest mutinied and insisted on driving as a clutch of Miatas, all except Jim & Judy Creer who wanted to leave last (for a reason you‘ll read later.)

After everyone had left, Donna and I hopped into our car and made our way down River Watch Parkway to the rally endpoint, the Dairy Queen near I-20. The route for the bug catchers was out Washington Road to Pollards Corner, turn right and traverse the dam across Clark’s Hill Lake into South Carolina, turn right again and come back into Georgia on 28/Fury’s Ferry Road.

First in, were the first out, Sean & Jennifer, with a fairly clean front end. There was a little tiny black spot inside of their green dot, that Sean did his best to convince the judge was bug residue. As the rest of the cars started to arrive it became clear that the judge needed a flashlight, as the parking lot, though lit, was not nearly bright enough for the fine detail work required to adjudicate this competition. Fortunately both Rudy and Andrea had lights to help shine on Miata front ends.

There were four categories of prizes to be awarded: Fewest Bugs, Most Bugs, Closest to the Dot and Biggest Bug. The winner of the Fewest Bugs was Rudy Wilmoth, the front of his car was cleaner than when he left Zaxby’s. His prize was a small butterfly toy. Rudy must has done some NASCAR style drafting off the back of the Haff’s, because John and Carol won the Most Bugs prize, a pack of insect stickers. Randy Pitts won a bottle of Bullseye Barbecue sauce with a large praying mantis attached to it for having a bug splat less than an inch from his green dot. The 3’ tall trophy for Biggest Bug went to Peter Brown for the 2” long dragonfly stuck to his front bumper. Peter also was awarded big style points because the dragonfly was still twitching.

In hopes that the Biggest Bug trophy would become like the Stanley Cup or America’s Cup, the winner getting to place it on his or her mantle, or another place of “prominence,” for a year and then bring it back to be awarded to next year’s winner sounded like a good idea. But Peter is a resident at MCG and wasn’t sure he would be back next year. So after having his picture taken with the trophy, his car and his winning bug he turned the trophy over to runner-up Jim Creer. Jim really had the biggest bug, an 8” long house fly surrounded by a sea of non-viscous goo, splattered on the passenger side of the windshield, but was bumped to second place when upon closer inspection it was revealed to be a glued on fake insect.